It’s been a while. I’m so sorry…especially if I ever amassed any followers. The summer and fall have been a whirlwind; between taking 18 credits, interning twice a week, and working part time, there’s hardly time to breathe, let alone blog. But I am definitely going to be trying to be more active on here. My internship has given me a lot of opportunities to write, and it’s made me remember how much I love it and that I miss blogging. So, I’m going to be here a lot more often.
My professional/educational/adult-ish life has never been better, but my personal/romantic life is in shambles. You’re looking at a girl who has 3,542 Tinder matches as of 9:49pm on November 5, 2015. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again–dating in NYC is brutal. I’ve gone on a pretty decent amount of Tinder dates since the semester started, and even a few second and third dates. And I’ve started to realize that I am partly at fault for my single-ness…until a few weeks ago, I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong, but after the third date with a guy who, on paper, is perfect for me, the epiphany hit.
It doesn’t matter if a guy is tall enough, rich enough, smart enough, and polite enough if you inherently don’t enjoy their company. Even if he wants the same number of kids as you and shares your passion for Dunkin’ coffee. Whenever we spent time together, the only thought that crossed my mind was “this is settling.” Not because he wasn’t conventionally handsome, or a little overweight, not because he had only-child syndrome, not because he didn’t get my jokes…there was just something missing.
You’re supposed to marry your best friend, right? So I guess that’s the kind of guy I should start looking for. I’m more interested in being with someone who is ok with the fact that I don’t talk all the time, instead of asking me why I’m so quiet. And conversely, someone who understands that sometimes I talk too fast and too much. I’m not interested in being in a relationship that will define who I am and prevent me from doing everything I want to in this lifetime. Finally getting to work in my dream industry has made me realize that I am capable of achieving my dreams, and the possibility of that is more important to me than anything else.
After being in Europe and traveling and seeing all of the places I’d dreamed about for my whole life, I started to think that I spent too much time looking for someone else instead of doing things for myself. When I got home from semester abroad, I resolved to be more self-confident, to put myself first, and to be assertive. This mindset combined with confidence I’ve gained in my new job have really helped…getting rejected hurts a little less these days.