boyfriend, Uncategorized

i tried every dating site so you don’t have to

This blog is called “New York is My Boyfriend” for God’s sake, so this post was kind of inevitable. I’m pretty loyal to Tinder, but I branched out and tried some other popular sites so YOU can be lucky in love. After all, Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. What’s your favorite dating site or app?


I was quite impressed with eHarmony. I did a one-week free trial, but I felt like the matching was super legit. Randos can’t just like your pics and message you; you answer a pretty extensive series of questions and get paired up with guys based on your answers. It was kind of hard to be honest (is wine a hobby?), and the limits of the free trial were super annoying. For instance, you can’t see what anybody looks like or directly message them. K. As you can probably guess, I didn’t get super lucky.

# of phone numbers gotten: 0

# of dates resulting: 0

Farmers Only

A country-bumpkin style website, Farmers Only looks like it was created in 2006 and never updated. I was automatically assigned the username of cowgirl79798156, and was surprised that there are men trying to be cowboys within 20 miles of NYC.

# of phone numbers gotten: 1

# of dates resulting: 0


Ok Cupid

This site is TERRIBLE. Omg. The website itself is campy, and it’s impossible to filter messages. Every time I logged in I got hit with some obscene notification like “471 people have liked your profile!” I didn’t know I had a ‘type’ until I signed up for Ok Cupid. And that type is educated & employed.

# of phone numbers gotten: 0

# of dates resulting: 0


Christian Mingle

This site had a ton of potential, but like eHarmony, I was limited by my free trial (anyone wanna sponsor a follow up to this story so I can pay for a membership?). How am I supposed to find God’s match for me when I can’t message any of my matches?! I feel like there were a lot of nice, genuine guys, so if I’m still single in ten years, I might be shelling out some cash to the folks at Christian Mingle.

# of phone numbers gotten: 0

# of dates resulting: 0


Ok first of all…hottest guys EVER. Like, I don’t know how they do it, but the guys on Bumble are (overall) twice as hot as the ones on Tinder. And most of them went to great schools and have job titles like “investment banker” and “financial consultant” (i.e. douchey but rich). The thing I hate about this app is that you, the girl, have to initiate the convo. Which I don’t really mind, but I guess I need to work on my pick-up lines since I rarely got a message back. </3

# of phone numbers gotten: 7

# of dates resulting: 2



You probably know I have a lot to say about Tinder, but I’ll always have a love/hate relationship with this app. It’s just so entertaining, plus every time I get a new match it’s a nice little ego boost. The real problem with Tinder is that it’s come to be known as a place to find quick hook-ups, though my bio clearly states I’m looking for the opposite.

# of phone numbers gotten: 17

# of dates resulting: 5


thanks to Giphy for all Mindy Kaling gifs.

6 thoughts on “i tried every dating site so you don’t have to

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