I feel like I talk (bitch, whine, complain) a lot about trying to figure guys out. Why are they so douchey? Why do they like one night stands? Why doesn’t Jim Halpert exist in real life? I’ve also started to realize that guys claim to “hate” a lot of things that are actually impossible to hate. Here are 5 of those things, dissected.
Ok, like what person doesn’t like brunch? Like, if you’re not into waiting for a table at The Smith for an hour and dropping $16 on a mimosa, that’s totally fine–but how do you not like French toast? Or omelets? Or bacon–don’t all guys have to pretend to be rampant carnivores to satisfy their idea of masculinity? Sure, a big reason why I like brunch is because breakfast food is aesthetically appealing so it makes for a super cute Instagram post. But I also really ****ing love Belgian waffles and drinking before noon.
Speaking of mimosas, why do guys pretend to hate champagne? I’m a little more understanding of people who don’t like wine (OK, I don’t really get it but whatever), but champagne is like grown-up soda. It’s fizzy and delicious and is almost the same color as beer, so let’s get with the program, please. Plus, pop a bottle open to instantly get the party started.
3. Romantic comedies.
Everyone knows that rom-coms aren’t cinematic masterpieces. When I suggest watching one, I’m not trying to impress you with my artistic taste, I’m trying to cozy up for 90 minutes of heartfelt viewing. I watch them because they’re endearing, you don’t have to pay a ton of attention, and they usually make me smile. Liking 13 Going on 30 or You’ve Got Mail or Sleepless in Seattle doesn’t make you less of a man! Now come watch Love Actually with me.
Literally bye. It’s a cup of cake.
Try not laughing at Chandler’s joked. If you don’t laugh, don’t talk to me, because this will never work out.
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