boyfriend, the latest, Uncategorized

what your choice of dating site says about you

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I’m (OBVIOUSLY) no stranger to dating apps. In fact, I’ve tried just about every single one. In using everything from Tinder to OkCupid, I’ve learned a thing or two about the kinds of people each app attracts. Here, what your preferred app says about Y-O-U.

1. Bumble

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You’re an over-achiever. All of your social media platforms are totally professional, and there isn’t a keg stand photo of you to be found on the Internet. If you’re a female user, you’re cool, confident, and collected–and if you’ve managed to get lucky on Bumble, I’m betting you have a stockpile of witty pick-up lines (please send over). If you’re a male user, you’ve either been raised to appreciate women or are lazy AF.

2. Tinder

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You’re not here for anything serious. Chances are, you like the instant gratification of swiping and matching with someone, and have a hard time making long-term commitments. You’re likely a nomad, jack-of-all trades, who can’t stay in one place for too long. If you’re a male user, you’re drawn to Tinder by its ease of use and unspoken promise of a hook-up.

3. OkCupid

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You prefer browsing singles on desktop rather than mobile, or maybe you like the flexibility to do both. If you’re a male user, you’re highly aggressive–since you don’t have to “match” with someone before you start a convo, you can literally message anybody. If you’re a female user, you probably know someone who met their husband on OkCupid (literally a one in a million chance), and joined with a faint hope of finding something real. Also, you probably like attention since you’ll get approximately 400 messages a day.

4. Happn

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This one is for anyone who regularly trolls the missed connections section on Craigslist (guilty 🙋). You’re a hopeless romantic who believes in fate and chance encounter. Good luck out there.

5. Match

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You’re ready for commitment and financially stable enough to pay for a dating site membership. You’ve probably used all of the above apps to no avail, and finally caved for something that promises results. You’re someone who doesn’t like bullshit, and regularly mutters “I’m too old for this.”

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boyfriend, Uncategorized

anatomy of a finance douche

NYC is home to a specific breed of a (not so) gentleman I like to call the “finance douche.” Thanks to Wall Street and all of the major banks that call New York home, there are an incredible amount of guys who work “in finance” doing something that makes a ridiculous amount of money without needing to be especially smart. Here’s what makes them tick.

1. They (obviously) studied Finance in college.Or maybe Econ if they couldn’t get into the business program. Probably a private university in the Northeast, maybe Georgetown or UVA.

andy cornell

2. Interned at Goldman Sachs or JP Morgan. AKA fucked around for a summer on someone else’s dime.

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3. Lives in Murray Hill, FiDI or the Upper East Side with at least two of his college buddies. The rest live in a 4-block radius. They still play beer pong on Sunday afternoons.

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4. Their favorite topic of conversations are a) drunk frat shenanigans; b) Microsoft Excel; c) their alcoholic boss.

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5. Totes an Amex that has an annual fee higher than your rent.

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6. Studied abroad in Dublin or London and doesn’t remember any of it.

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7. Wears Chubbies in a non-ironic way.

frat guys

8. Smokes occasional cigarettes in an ironic way.

don draper smoking

Check our more NYC stereotypes here

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boyfriend, Uncategorized

why i deleted tinder

I’ve blogged quite a bit in the past about my experience using Tinder (and even checking out Bumble, Match.com, and some other sites). Lately, I have been feeling really “over” the idea of dating, especially via mobile app. Since getting a real job and becoming more of an adult, I’ve decided to start investing more in myself–whether it’s pursuing creative pursuits (like this one) or making time for things that are important to me.

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When I first downloaded Tinder, it was little more than a game. Of course, there was that lurking, secret desire that I’d find my soulmate through a silly app, but that hope has pretty much been dashed. My dating experience over the past two years has been filled with a lot of first dates, a lot of mixed signals, and ultimately, a lot of my time, energy, and emotions being wasted. I have no interest in waiting around for my phone to buzz or wondering if I said the wrong thing or acted the wrong way.

I recently saw a post on Man Repeller that really just hit home for me. “We need a romance revolution. No more games, no more guessing and no more wondering. We should all say how we feel, and not be afraid to say, “I love you.” Let’s commit to relationships! And treat each other equally.” Amen, Brisa Gomez. In the meantime, the swiping and super-liking are on hold, and I’m pretty sure I’ll be just fine.

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boyfriend, Uncategorized

i tried every dating site so you don’t have to

This blog is called “New York is My Boyfriend” for God’s sake, so this post was kind of inevitable. I’m pretty loyal to Tinder, but I branched out and tried some other popular sites so YOU can be lucky in love. After all, Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. What’s your favorite dating site or app?

eHarmony

I was quite impressed with eHarmony. I did a one-week free trial, but I felt like the matching was super legit. Randos can’t just like your pics and message you; you answer a pretty extensive series of questions and get paired up with guys based on your answers. It was kind of hard to be honest (is wine a hobby?), and the limits of the free trial were super annoying. For instance, you can’t see what anybody looks like or directly message them. K. As you can probably guess, I didn’t get super lucky.

# of phone numbers gotten: 0

# of dates resulting: 0

Farmers Only

A country-bumpkin style website, Farmers Only looks like it was created in 2006 and never updated. I was automatically assigned the username of cowgirl79798156, and was surprised that there are men trying to be cowboys within 20 miles of NYC.

# of phone numbers gotten: 1

# of dates resulting: 0

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Ok Cupid

This site is TERRIBLE. Omg. The website itself is campy, and it’s impossible to filter messages. Every time I logged in I got hit with some obscene notification like “471 people have liked your profile!” I didn’t know I had a ‘type’ until I signed up for Ok Cupid. And that type is educated & employed.

# of phone numbers gotten: 0

# of dates resulting: 0

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Christian Mingle

This site had a ton of potential, but like eHarmony, I was limited by my free trial (anyone wanna sponsor a follow up to this story so I can pay for a membership?). How am I supposed to find God’s match for me when I can’t message any of my matches?! I feel like there were a lot of nice, genuine guys, so if I’m still single in ten years, I might be shelling out some cash to the folks at Christian Mingle.

# of phone numbers gotten: 0

# of dates resulting: 0

Bumble

Ok first of all…hottest guys EVER. Like, I don’t know how they do it, but the guys on Bumble are (overall) twice as hot as the ones on Tinder. And most of them went to great schools and have job titles like “investment banker” and “financial consultant” (i.e. douchey but rich). The thing I hate about this app is that you, the girl, have to initiate the convo. Which I don’t really mind, but I guess I need to work on my pick-up lines since I rarely got a message back. </3

# of phone numbers gotten: 7

# of dates resulting: 2

mindy

Tinder

You probably know I have a lot to say about Tinder, but I’ll always have a love/hate relationship with this app. It’s just so entertaining, plus every time I get a new match it’s a nice little ego boost. The real problem with Tinder is that it’s come to be known as a place to find quick hook-ups, though my bio clearly states I’m looking for the opposite.

# of phone numbers gotten: 17

# of dates resulting: 5

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thanks to Giphy for all Mindy Kaling gifs.
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