the latest

things i have questions about

Are these leggings see-through?

Why hasn’t anyone invented drive-thru pizza?

Does anyone use the word “muggy” besides my mom? 

Why are olives so bad when olive oil is so good?

Do you think SoulCycle was invented so DJs would have something to do during the day?

Will I ever own a home?

Do we still need the no-smoking sign on airplanes?

Who decided that bras should close at the back?

Should I get a dog?

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the latest

tax day: a nightmare IRL

Though it’s a great creative outlet and gives me some extra cash for luxurious things (like traveling, new shoes, and manicures), freelancing isn’t always a breeze. Cue: taxes.

I consider myself to be pretty financially responsible. I have a retirement savings plan, invest in the stock market, pay my credit card bill in full every month, and thrive at department store clearance racks. But taxes are a whole other game.

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Luckily, my trusty accountant (known to me as “Dad”) has been Turbo Tax-ing for me for the last few years. I’ve previously gotten sizable refunds, so this year, I was shocked to find out I’d be getting nothing…and instead, owed the government a good chunk of change. I’d been planning to upgrade my computer with the return I expected, but, alas, I wrote checks to the IRS.

As a freelancer, I got a stack of 1099s in the mail, chronicling my earnings for the various media outlets I write for. I started putting money aside last year to pay my 2017 taxes, and ended up transferring those funds to a high yield savings account. I earned about $100 in interest in a year, so I highly recommend it. (I used American Express.)

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I feel like financial security is something that’s often overlooked, especially by millennials. My parents grew up pinching pennies, so they’ve always been frugal, a practice that has rubbed off on me a little. I have expensive taste and don’t think twice about the occasional splurge, but I get most of my wardrobe from low-brow retailers like Zara, bring my lunch to work 90% of the time, and have drastically cut back on fancy coffees.

Anyway, I guess the lesson here is that I should start saving for next year’s taxes right now. Sigh.

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the latest

elements of a dream job, according to me

It’s been kind of weird realizing that work is, in fact, “work” and isn’t always fun. As I spend more time in the workforce and have gotten to peek in to various office environments, I’ve started keeping a mental list of everything there would be in my dreamy perfect corporate environment (though I doubt I’ll ever find a job with these elements). What’s on the top of your workplace wish list

An office dog.

I once worked in a dog-friendly office building and seeing pups in the elevator every day made me so happy.

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Somewhere to take a nap.

Or at least a daily nap-time allotment. Being an adult is exhausting, ok?!??

Diet Coke on tap.

Or seltzer. Along with plenty of ice. One place I previously worked had a whole soda fountain available for free…but it was disappointingly stocked with Pepsi products.

The ability to do my nails at my desk without feeling self-conscious.

When I was an intern, the girl who sat next to me used to do this and I always thought it was ballsy AF. Honestly, I’d probably do this now if someone would invent scent-free nail polish.

An expense account.

Remember that Seinfeld episode when Elaine goes a little nuts with her corporate card? That’s what I have in mind.

 

 

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boyfriend

things to do while you’re waiting for a text back

I don’t know if they’re abandonment or attention issues, but something is definitely wrong with me. My thoughts always shoot to the worst-case scenario, and this has negatively affected many past relationshipsIf he’s not texting me back, he’s probably on a date with someone else. Maybe he’s ghosting me. Why’s there a weird emoji next to his name on Snapchat? Did he unfollow me on Instagram?

Aaaaaand that’s just a little taste of how psycho I am. Here’s what I do to come back to normal.

1. Write a blog post.

2. Do some squats.

3. Browse through Tumblr.

4. Call my mom.

5. Go grocery shopping.

6. Knock out some freelance work.

7. Slap on a face mask.

8. Play Words with Friends.

9. Make a cup of coffee.

10. Go on Pinterest and look at wedding photos.

11. Eat a spoonful of Phish Food.

12. Read your entire text history and wonder where you went wrong.

 

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boyfriend, the latest

iconic hollywood dad bods

I’m many things, including a dad bod enthusiast. I have never been into super ripped guys…like, why do you have so much time to work out? Do you have a job? A social life outside the gym? Do you eat anything besides protein shakes and steak??

Anyway, I’m glad that there’s been a renaissance of the “dad bod” in Hollywood. Here are some of the most iconic ones, according to me.

David Harbour

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Chris Pratt

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Seth Rogen

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Alec Baldwin

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Matt LeBlanc

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the latest

the great british baking show is the feel-good type of tv we all need

You guys, I’m obsessed with this show. I’ve never been particularly enamored with Great Britain (other than the Royal Family and Downton Abbey), but this show warms my pessimistic heart.

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The hosts? Witty. The judges? Playful. The contestants? LOVELY. This is the type of reality TV show that would never happen in America. Contestants aren’t sequestered to a house for weeks and stripped of technology/social media/the internet – they just take a train each weekend to a giant tent in the British countryside. No need to take time off from school or work.

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Though there’s appropriately over-dramatic music as the clock runs out, this is not a catty competition environment. If one baker is finished and another one could use a hand, he’ll pop over and help out. If another contestant starts to have a meltdown because her Italian meringue cracks, one of the cheery hosts will soothe her. This is very much a no-drama zone.

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Furthermore, they don’t even win anything…other than an engraved glass cake plate and the first place title. No money, no car, no speedboat, no trip for two to Aruba. And they’re not even mad about it! These people just LOVE to bake!!

Anyway, it’s literally the third best show on television – it’s on Netflix, actually – and it comes with my highest recommendation.

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boyfriend

weird things you (i) think about when you (i) start dating someone

1. What’s the one thing I do that will make him never text me again?

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2. If I’m not his top friend on Snapchat, who is?

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3. Is he still using Tinder? Should I still be using Tinder?

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4. When am I supposed to start insisting to pay for dinner?

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5. Am I the only person he’s dating?

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6. Where is this going?

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7. When things end, is he going to unfollow me on Instagram?

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8. Why am I psychotic?

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