boyfriend, Uncategorized

things guys pretend to hate but really don’t

I feel like I talk (bitch, whine, complain) a lot about trying to figure guys out. Why are they so douchey? Why do they like one night stands? Why doesn’t Jim Halpert exist in real life? I’ve also started to realize that guys claim to “hate” a lot of things that are actually impossible to hate. Here are 5 of those things, dissected.

1. Brunch.


Ok, like what person doesn’t like brunch? Like, if you’re not into waiting for a table at The Smith for an hour and dropping $16 on a mimosa, that’s totally fine–but how do you not like French toast? Or omelets? Or bacon–don’t all guys have to pretend to be rampant carnivores to satisfy their idea of masculinity? Sure, a big reason why I like brunch is because breakfast food is aesthetically appealing so it makes for a super cute Instagram post. But I also really ****ing love Belgian waffles and drinking before noon.

2. Champagne.


Speaking of mimosas, why do guys pretend to hate champagne? I’m a little more understanding of people who don’t like wine (OK, I don’t really get it but whatever), but champagne is like grown-up soda. It’s fizzy and delicious and is almost the same color as beer, so let’s get with the program, please. Plus, pop a bottle open to instantly get the party started.

3. Romantic comedies.


Everyone knows that rom-coms aren’t cinematic masterpieces. When I suggest watching one, I’m not trying to impress you with my artistic taste, I’m trying to cozy up for 90 minutes of heartfelt viewing. I watch them because they’re endearing, you don’t have to pay a ton of attention, and they usually make me smile. Liking 13 Going on 30 or You’ve Got Mail or Sleepless in Seattle doesn’t make you less of a man! Now come watch Love Actually with me.

4. Cupcakes.


Literally bye. It’s a cup of cake.

5. Friends.


Try not laughing at Chandler’s joked. If you don’t laugh, don’t talk to me, because this will never work out.

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boyfriend, Uncategorized

tinder PTSD

Some days it really feels like human decency is dead. I hung out with this guy I met on Tinder a couple of times, and didn’t really feel a connection. So I said I wasn’t interested, and he wished me good luck on my job search–and then told me I wouldn’t have much luck because he “knows people.” Getting this text the day before an important interview made my stress shoot through the roof. I’m still confused and hurt by this…is it blackmail? Though I don’t see how he’d have anything to use against me. Is it because I wasn’t interested? Because I didn’t “put out?”I’m literally just totally disgusted and have no idea how to react.

I’ve been working so. damn. hard for the past four years, and am just super paranoid about doing anything to mess up my future…and now I guess I have to be paranoid about someone else messing it up for me. I shouldn’t even be dignifying this exchange with a blog post, but I just needed a place to vent–after all, this corner of the Internet belongs entirely to ME. I don’t really think his influence will affect my career pursuits…I think my experience speaks more to who I am than any single person ever could. Especially somebody who’s that contemptible. Accepting advice & virtual hugs.