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i’m not sorry

I’ve recently noticed a lot of Internet literature (like this and this) regarding the habit of over-apologizing that plagues millennial women. I’d always thought that in addition to being used for a formal apology, saying “sorry” was just a polite thing to do, even if you haven’t done anything wrong.

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I say sorry when I feel like I’m bothering my boss too much via email, when I really just want to make sure I’m doing things correctly. I say sorry when I ask the cashier to pack my groceries in a reusable shopping bag. I say sorry when a waiter brings me a regular Coke instead of diet, even though I know I ordered correctly. In reality, I shouldn’t be sorry for any of these things–my existence and my preferences aren’t an inconvenience.

“I think along with ‘I’m sorry’ comes the fluttering eyes and bad posture and maybe the raised shoulder as if to protect yourself from what’s coming. I’m asking women to own up to that, to stop saying they’re sorry, and to stand up straight and to look at people in the eye and be cool! Just be cool with yourself.” -Mika Brzezinski

I recently resolved to reduce the amount of airtime I give the word “sorry.” It’s been a difficult task–I usually don’t even realize when I say it, so I made sure to consciously avoid apologizing (unless, of course, I was in the wrong). Someone knocks on the bathroom door while you’re using it? There’s no need to apologize for occupying it. Don’t want to get drinks with a guy who keeps badgering you? You shouldn’t be sorry for not wanting to waste your time.

Here are some more things to stop apologizing for:

  1. Asking someone to clarify something.
  2. Someone else’s mistake…it’s not your fault if the barista at Starbucks gives you whole milk instead of skim, even if she makes it seem like it’s a major inconvenience.
  3.  Declining an invitation somewhere. Say “no, thank you” instead.
  4. Leaving work early or calling out sick (as long as you’re actually sick).
  5. Not knowing the answer to something.
  6. Asking someone to move over on the train so they only take up one seat instead of two, so you can sit down.

blair waldorf gif from giphy.

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congrad-ulations, your future is still uncertain

Midterms are approaching, and I still feel like this semester hasn’t even started. I only have class two days a week, and am taking just three courses, so the majority of my non-free time is no longer spent in a classroom. Instead, it’s spent in an office. I’m super grateful to have the opportunity to intern at a popular publication, but it’s definitely made me feel that my college experience has ended a little early.

Going to a university in a major city is an unconventional college choice to begin with. While Fordham’s campus has all the perks of a quintessentially beautiful, ivy-covered college, and even a couple of nearby student-only bars, the past four years have not been a conventional college experience. I am in no way sad about this: I intentionally chose a school that didn’t have Greek life, stadium-sized lecture halls, or a small-town location. Instead, I have multiple semesters of professional experience, close relationships with faculty members, and a total adjustment to living and navigating NYC. (And I had a pretty great time while doing it.)

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Since it’s my last semester, I’ve started hunting for full time jobs, realizing that in just a few months, I’ll have to make another huge decision. Do I stay in New York? Should I take a job I’m passionate about, even though the salary is lower? Should I move in with my parents and save money? If you feel this way too, I’m sorry, because I literally have no advice to give you. I was low-key hoping that my blog would have been paying my bills by now, but I guess I’ll have to hold out a little longer.

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22

I can’t believe I’m already 22. This time last year, I had just arrived in Amsterdam, and however cliché it sounds, it feels like yesterday. Following last year’s tradition, here are 22 things I have learned in my 22 years.

1. Happiness is the most important thing.

2. Being blonde IS more fun.

3. Punctuality is a virtue.

4. Not all friendships are forever.

5. People who love to eat are the best people. (I think Julia Child gets credit for this)

6. Air conditioning is worth the money.

7. Beer is actually pretty good.

8. You can’t give up carbs when you live in NYC. (bagels & pizza, duh)

9. Lipstick does a lot for your face.

10. So does liquid eyeliner.

11. If you wear heels enough your feet become numb to the pain.

12. Time is more important than money.

13. Experience is more important than anything.

never stop exploring ✈️✌🏼️🌴 #Mexico #history #travel #beautiful #ancient #ruins #love #vacation #nyc #blogger

A post shared by Allison Russo (@nycismyboyfriend) on

14. I’m talented.

15. Dealing with a landlord sucks.

16. I like food more than people.

17. Cooking makes me happy.

18. Matcha (green tea) has literally changed my life.

19. Starbucks is a rip-off.

20. I’m really good at winning Twitter contests.

21. Time flies!

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