boyfriend, Uncategorized

expectations vs. reality

soulmates.gif

I’m a romantic. If you’ve spent any time on this blog, or know me IRL, that should be pretty obvious. I believe in soulmates. I believe in fate. I read my horoscope regularly (though I take it with a grain of salt). I don’t think anything is a coincidence. I try so incredibly hard to be a Samantha, but I’ll always be a Carrie…mixed with a little Miranda minus the haircut.

Right after I deleted Tinder, I got into the “hanging out” phase of dating someone. We met through the app, and went on our first date shortly after I moved to my new neighborhood. I wasn’t enthralled or super impressed by his online profile–he seemed kind of hipster, his job title had “freelance” in it (I usually go for investment banker types), and it took him hours to answer my messages. But the bar he suggested was within walking distance and I didn’t have any other plans on Wednesday night, so why not?

Chemistry is 100% a thing–someone can be perfect on paper for you, and you can have a perfectly delightful time at dinner, but if there isn’t a spark, I’m 0% interested in pursuing it. So I was pleasantly surprised when I met this guy who was as tall as he said he was and smiled at me like I was the prettiest girl he ever saw. The good vibes continued when I learned we had the same birthday. And the flame grew brighter when we watched Netflix at his house and I discovered that he watches TV with closed-captioning, too.

We seemed to like each other so much and get along so well–I would talk for hours about nothing, and he would just listen and smile at me. He sings in a band and when I listened to the album alone in my room I cried because I liked it so much.

But just like everything else in my life, expectations exceeded reality. Though he’s 7 years older than me, he still acts like a 19-year-old boy. There is no semblance of commitment, of wanting something more. Why didn’t he want to come to Brooklyn Flea with me? Or go to the movies? Why won’t he always answer my texts? Why doesn’t he like any of my Instagram pictures? And the biggest question of all…why am I still chasing him?

Around the same time, I met someone else–someone who adamantly expresses how interested he was in me, wants to take me on all these exciting dates, is professional and ambitious and texts me everyday…yet he doesn’t look at me the same way and doesn’t seem interested in what I have to say. I’m still more attracted to this other boy who disappears for days on end. Is it because my fate-driven perspective feels there’s some deeper connection? Even though he’s someone who makes me feel distant, insecure, and insignificant?

I’ve been trying really hard to be the “cool girl.” To go with the flow, be casual and nonchalant when in reality a thousand questions and worries and insecurities are eating me up inside. Why are we drawn to people who have so little to offer us?

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the latest, Uncategorized

why chandler bing is low-key the perfect guy

I still can’t believe that the first time I watched Friends I thought Ross was the cutest guy on the show. In my high school years, I was all about Joey, since he was a famous actor and all, but in college I moved on to Chandler. Cushy finance job? Check! Makes me LOL? Check! Is insecure enough to be desperate? Double check! Here are 8 reasons why Chandler Bing is the perfect man (despite his unfortunate sounding name).

1. He’s funny AF.

chandler-funny

2. His hair is always on point.

chandler-1

3. He’s not just another finance guy.

chandler bank.gif

4. He quit his job to pursue his passion.

chandler-cheese

5. He always says what he’s thinking.

chandler-bitch

6. He’s a great cuddler.

chandler-monica

7. He’s an amazing dancer.

chandler

8. And a great friend.

chandler-hug

Follow new york is my boyfriend on Instagram

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the latest, Uncategorized

excuses for canceling plans

I can’t say if I’ve used any or all of these, but when I’m feeling anti-social it’s always good to have an excuse stored in the back of my brain. Here are some of my best (?) ideas for getting out of an awkward blind date, a party for a co-worker you’ve never spoken to or 10am brunch when you’re hungover.

nick miller

1. You’re super sore from Pure Barre.

2. You forgot you promised your roommate you’d go to dinner with her for her birthday.

3. You have a Skype interview with a company in China (time differences, man).

4. It’s your time of the month.

5. You’re locked out of your apartment.

6. Your wallet got stolen and you only have $3.91 in loose change.

7. You have to stay home to let the cable guy in.

ilana

8. Damn, you JUST ordered Thai food on Seamless.

9. The new Frank Ocean album is making you cry.

10. You ate too many free bagels at work and none of your going-out clothes fit.

Here’s to a Friday night in!

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the latest, Uncategorized

when you realize you’re liz lemon AF

I recently re-watched 30 Rock (hit me with your Netflix suggestions) and got kind of freaked out by how much I related to Liz Lemon. I started watching this show when I was in high school, when I first started appreciating quality television. For the past few months I feel like all I’ve done is work, eat and sleep, basically mirroring Lemon’s life as a head writer for TGS. Here are 7 reasons why we’re literally the same person.

1. We both have our priorities straight.

mozz sticks

2. We’re both known for our infamous eye roll.

liz lemon eye roll

3. We’re both terrible at comforting our friends.

crying

4. We exercise for the same reason…to eat more.

liz lemon exercise

5. Neither of us has actually ever had a successful interaction with a man.

interaction

6. We both eat cheese after dark. Alone. While watching Netflix. Sometimes in bed.

night cheese

7. We started wearing more and going out less.

yes to

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