the latest, Uncategorized

true life: my 9-5 is killing me

I have always craved stability. When I graduated from college, all I wanted in the world was a standard 9-5 job. Though I didn’t land my dream job, I made enough money to pay rent, ball out a little, and still had time to work on my side hustle. I’ve since upgraded to a new position, but still feel like something is missing from my life.

Totally opposite to my craving for stability is my desire for a life worth living–and a fear of “settling.” One full of adventure, envy-inducing Instagram posts, and stories that will shock my grandchildren in 50 years. While I feel so incredibly fortunate to even be employed, I still feel like something is missing. I wish so badly that I would be content working at a desk job and living the suburbs. Life would be so much easier, but I know that it would kill me a little bit.

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When I was still in school, I remember looking at people like Yoga Girl and Chelsie Antos, waiting for it to be my turn to teach yoga in Aruba or go RVing around America with my hot husband. While neither of those things specifically will probably ever happen to me, you get the idea. I wanted to be mildly responsible, get my degree, make some money, and then start exploring the world. Now, I want my life to have a little more purpose: for myself (selfishly), and for others (also kind of selfish).

Until I can start making big moves (i.e. waiting for my lease to run out), I would love to hear your ideas for keeping life exciting in the space between M-F, 9-5.

Follow new york is my boyfriend on Instagram.

**Check out my updated (and very professional) portfolio. 

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places, the latest, Uncategorized

the biggest thing NYC ruined for me

I always loved grocery shopping. Even after working at the local supermarket in high school and in the summer when I came home from college, I was never wary of the shiny linoleum aisles and well-stocked shelves.

This is because grocery shopping in a pleasant suburb is completely unlike shopping in New York. Suburban supermarkets get those cool, limited edition products (like peppermint Chobani) while NYC vendors sell crap you forgot existed (remember Kudos bars?). And then there are the prices. $7.99 for a half-gallon of ice cream. $4.99 for a gallon of milk. $7 for a carton of strawberries. All of these things are usually around $3 at my hometown grocery store.

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At the store in my hometown, you can push a full-sized shopping cart down each wide aisle, taking your time to choose the right items. You can buy 12-pack cans of soda, 16-count packs of paper towels, and other heavy items, knowing you just have to wheel them out to your SUV and drive home, traffic-free. In New York, I can only buy what I can carry (unless I spring for an Uber).

But it gets worse…the crowds! I have never found NYC to be overwhelmingly crowded, except in midtown during the holidays. Trader Joe’s on a Saturday afternoon is unlike anything I’ve ever seen. When I lived in Brooklyn, the TJ’s closest to me would sometimes have a line of people outside, waiting to go in. Inside the store, the line wraps through the aisles–you’re better off grabbing a basket, hopping in line, and shopping as you weave throughout the store. Whole Foods has an insane (but effective) color-coded system for sending shoppers to open registers, but¬†there is almost ALWAYS a line.

People say that living in a city is worth it for its conveniences, but man, oh man, what I wouldn’t give for an afternoon at Market Basket.

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the latest, Uncategorized

another year, another 3 resolutions

Well…2016 is finally coming to an end. I think a lot of people have mixed feelings about this past year–for me, it was definitely a rollercoaster.¬†SO much has changed in the last twelve months. I graduated from college, got a 9-5 job, and moved twice.¬†It’s kind of crazy how unprepared I felt for it all, and how many added responsibilities I now have.

2016 coming to an end has me thinking about where I’ll be this time next year. There are still a lot of things I want to do, like get a Master’s degree and live abroad (maybe I can combine these two…), so who knows if either of those will become a reality over the next twelve months.

This time of year is always overwhelming, between Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s eve, and my birthday (it’s a busy two months!), but I wanted to take time to make a list of my resolutions for 2017.

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1. Have dates with myself. I’ve found myself wistfully scrolling through Instagram and seeing cool gallery exhibits, pop-up eateries, and outdoor installations, yet never actually go to these things–even though tons of them are right here in NYC! I want to make more of an effort to actually¬†go¬†to these kinds of things, even if I can’t find someone else who wants to tag along.

2. Get my finances in order. I started working on this a few months ago when I realized that I have to pay taxes (yay, freelancing!). But I definitely want to get my expenses in order so I can invest and save the rest.

3. STOP CARING ABOUT BOYS! I literally sound like a broken record but I am so sick of spending time and energy on dead-end relationships. I promise to work on this so I can stop whining about it…

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boyfriend, Uncategorized

expectations vs. reality

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I’m a romantic. If you’ve spent any time on this blog, or know me IRL, that should be pretty obvious. I believe in soulmates. I believe in fate. I read my horoscope regularly (though I take it with a grain of salt). I don’t think anything is a coincidence.¬†I try so incredibly hard to be a Samantha, but I’ll always be a Carrie…mixed with a little Miranda minus the haircut.

Right after I deleted Tinder, I got into the “hanging out” phase of dating someone. We met through the app, and went on our first date shortly after I moved to my new neighborhood. I wasn’t enthralled or super impressed by his online profile–he seemed kind of hipster, his job title had “freelance” in it (I usually go for investment banker types), and it took him hours to answer my messages. But the bar he suggested was within walking distance and I didn’t have any other plans on Wednesday night, so why not?

Chemistry is 100% a thing–someone can be perfect on paper for you, and you can have a perfectly delightful time at dinner, but if there isn’t a spark, I’m 0% interested in pursuing it. So I was pleasantly surprised when I met this guy who was as tall as he said he was and smiled at me like I was the prettiest¬†girl he ever saw. The good vibes continued when I learned we had the same birthday. And the flame grew brighter when we watched Netflix¬†at his house and I discovered¬†that he watches TV with closed-captioning, too.

We seemed to like each other so much and get along so well–I would talk for hours about nothing, and he would just listen and smile at me. He sings in a band and when I listened to the album alone in my room I cried because I liked it so much.

But just like everything else in my life, expectations exceeded reality. Though he’s 7 years older than me, he still acts like a 19-year-old boy. There is no semblance of commitment, of wanting something more.¬†Why didn’t he want to come to Brooklyn Flea with me? Or go to the movies? Why won’t¬†he always answer my texts? Why doesn’t he like any of my Instagram pictures? And the biggest question of all…why am I¬†still¬†chasing him?

Around the same time,¬†I met someone else–someone who adamantly expresses how interested he was in me, wants to take me on all these exciting dates, is professional and ambitious and texts me everyday…yet he doesn’t look at me the same way and doesn’t seem interested in what I have to say. I’m still more attracted to this other boy who disappears for days on end. Is it because my fate-driven perspective feels there’s some deeper connection? Even though he’s someone who makes me feel distant, insecure, and insignificant?

I’ve been trying really hard to be the “cool girl.” To go with the flow, be casual and nonchalant when in reality a thousand questions and worries and insecurities are eating me up inside. Why are we drawn to people who have so little to offer us?

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the latest

sound bites

sound-bites

Things I found and loved on the Internet this week.

This post almost convinced me to give up drinking on Tinder dates.

Style rules from my all-time favorite comedienne.

My latest byline.

A photo tour of an incredible NYC apartment.

I’m a big fan of this comfy trend.

This recipe for perfect, creamy tomato soup.

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pin-spiration

pin-spiration: kitchen goals

As a self-proclaimed “foodie,” I love to cook almost as much as I love to eat and¬†Instagram my favorite dishes. My childhood homes always had¬†generously-sized kitchens–my mother is a wonderful cook, and prepared dinner for my family every night, so the kitchen was an integral room in the house.

I haven’t been so lucky in any of my apartments in terms of counter space and top-notch appliances. My college apartments lacked counter space, taking all the fun out of food prep, and the kitchen in my new apartment is so teeny that I haven’t even attempted to cook anything other than grilled cheese sandwiches¬†and eggs. Apartment hunting in New York is kind of a nightmare, and I’m pretty realistic about never having a kitchen larger than a closet as long as I’m living here. In the meantime, I’ll be dreaming about spaces like these.

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rejects

things i wrote that i thought were good but nobody else did

As someone who aspires to make a living by writing, I pitch a lot of story ideas to various websites–I’ll think of maybe 10 ideas, and be thrilled if the editor likes two or three. I’ve also written quite a few personal/human interest pieces that I’ve submitted to major publications that were met with rejection…which is totally fine! I just don’t like my time to go to waste, so I’ve decided to share these literary rejections with you. Here’s the first! (Submitted to Hearst’s “The Mix” before it was shuttered earlier this summer.)

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Almost daily, I take the 9:23 commuter train to work. And almost daily, there’s a woman a few seats in front of me who spends the entire train ride doing her makeup. I am by no means a morning person, but I really don’t feel like¬†9:23¬†is painfully¬†early. I always manage to give myself plenty of time to fix my hair and put on my makeup before leaving the house. Unfortunately, many of my travel companions seem to lack these time management skills. I’ve become familiar with some of my fellow commuters who clearly depend on the 25-minute train ride to transform from bedheads to beauty queens. Foundation, powder, eyeshadow, eyeliner and mascara are, admittedly, masterfully applied with one hand while the other holds a compact mirror.

It’s one thing to touch up your lipstick, or dab a little concealer on a zit, but it’s another to contour your face on a moving train. Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve always thought it was worth it to wake up an extra ten minutes early so I can¬†attempt a smoky eye at¬†the comfort of my own vanity table.

This public application of makeup bothers me so irrationally¬†for a couple of reasons. The first is that I value my privacy so much that I can’t imagine putting on makeup while a¬†train car of disgruntled commuters looks¬†on. I have a hard time just letting the salespeople at Sephora show me how to¬†use a kabuki brush in a store full of people, let alone paint while balding businessmen peer over their newspapers at me. For me, makeup is a part of getting ready–in the same category as taking a shower and getting dressed. (All of which I like to do in the privacy of my apartment). Also, isn’t it frustrating to have to pack up a little makeup bag every single morning? What if your mascara wand falls on the germ-covered seat? Or worse–the floor?

The second is that it says something to me about your priorities and time management capabilities. Anyone who knows me will tell you that one of my biggest pet peeves is lateness. While I can appreciate that you’re applying makeup during your commute to save time and¬†not¬†be late to work, I’d appreciate it more if you managed your pre-train ride morning routine a little bit better. As a non-makeup professional¬†who has made a routine of¬†makeup in two minutes (concealer, a few strokes of bronzer, liquid liner, and some mascara), it’s puzzling to me that you would need to spend over twenty minutes putting¬†on makeup for work. Sure, when I go out at night I’ll take¬†a little more time on my makeup, but I keep things pretty clean and¬†simple at the office, as do most of my co-workers.

My point is, there are other ways to manage your time efficiently that doesn’t have to include publicly applying your makeup. Put on your foundation while you wait for your coffee to percolate.¬†Apply lipstick while you’re waiting for your mascara to dry. And please, please paint your nails the night before so I don’t have to breathe in acetone for breakfast.

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