boyfriend, the latest, Uncategorized

what your choice of dating site says about you

mindy.gif

I’m (OBVIOUSLY) no stranger to dating apps. In fact, I’ve tried just about every single one. In using everything from Tinder to OkCupid, I’ve learned a thing or two about the kinds of people each app attracts. Here, what your preferred app says about Y-O-U.

1. Bumble

bumble

You’re an over-achiever. All of your social media platforms are totally professional, and there isn’t a keg stand photo of you to be found on the Internet. If you’re a female user, you’re cool, confident, and collected–and if you’ve managed to get lucky on Bumble, I’m betting you have a stockpile of witty pick-up lines (please send over). If you’re a male user, you’ve either been raised to appreciate women or are lazy AF.

2. Tinder

tinder

You’re not here for anything serious. Chances are, you like the instant gratification of swiping and matching with someone, and have a hard time¬†making long-term commitments. You’re likely a nomad, jack-of-all trades, who can’t stay in one place for too long. If you’re a male user, you’re drawn to Tinder by its ease of use and unspoken promise of a hook-up.

3. OkCupid

okcupid.gif

You prefer browsing singles on desktop rather than mobile, or maybe you like the flexibility to do both. If you’re a male user, you’re highly aggressive–since you don’t have to¬†“match” with someone before you start a convo, you can literally message anybody. If you’re a female user, you probably know someone who met their husband on OkCupid (literally a one in a million chance), and joined with a faint hope of finding something real. Also, you probably like attention since you’ll get approximately 400 messages a day.

4. Happn

happn

This one is for anyone who regularly trolls the missed connections section on Craigslist (guilty ūüôč). You’re a hopeless romantic who believes in fate and chance encounter. Good luck out there.

5. Match

match

You’re ready for commitment and financially stable enough to pay for a dating site membership. You’ve probably used all of the above apps to no avail, and finally caved for something that promises results. You’re someone who doesn’t like bullshit, and regularly mutters “I’m too old for this.”

Standard
boyfriend, Uncategorized

things guys pretend to hate but really don’t

I feel like I talk (bitch, whine, complain) a lot about trying to figure guys out. Why are they so douchey? Why do they like one night stands? Why doesn’t Jim Halpert exist in real life?¬†I’ve also started to realize that guys claim to “hate” a lot of things that are actually impossible to hate. Here are 5 of those things, dissected.

1. Brunch.

mimosa

Ok, like what person doesn’t like brunch? Like, if you’re not into waiting for a table at The Smith for an hour and dropping $16 on a mimosa, that’s totally fine–but how do you not like French toast? Or omelets? Or bacon–don’t all guys have to pretend to be rampant carnivores to satisfy their idea of masculinity? Sure, a big reason why I like brunch is because breakfast food is aesthetically appealing so it makes for a super cute Instagram post. But I also really ****ing love Belgian waffles and drinking before noon.

2. Champagne.

champagne

Speaking of mimosas, why do guys pretend to hate champagne? I’m a little more understanding of people who don’t like wine (OK, I don’t really get it but whatever), but champagne is like grown-up soda. It’s fizzy and delicious and is almost the same color as beer, so let’s get with the program, please. Plus, pop a bottle open to instantly get the party started.

3. Romantic comedies.

13-going-on-30

Everyone knows that rom-coms aren’t cinematic masterpieces. When I suggest watching one, I’m not trying to impress you with my artistic taste, I’m trying to cozy up for 90 minutes of heartfelt viewing. I watch them because they’re endearing, you don’t have to pay a ton of attention, and they usually make me smile. Liking 13 Going on 30 or You’ve Got Mail or Sleepless in Seattle doesn’t make you less of a man! Now come watch Love Actually with me.

4. Cupcakes.

cupcake.gif

Literally bye. It’s a cup of cake.

5. Friends.

chandler

Try not laughing at Chandler’s joked. If you don’t laugh, don’t talk to me, because this will never work out.

Follow new york is my boyfriend on Instagram.

Standard
boyfriend, Uncategorized

why fall is the worst time to be single

Something about football season, cozy clothes, and Instagrammable leaves makes fall seem like a great time to be in a relationship…not that I’m in one. I remember starting my first year of college and assuming I would have a boyfriend to bring home to meet my parents over Thanksgiving weekend. I literally¬†laughed out loud as I wrote that. Anyway, here are some reasons why being single in my favorite season is worse than any other time of year.

1. You don’t have a cute significant other to take pumpkin patch pics with, so your Instagram game is suffering.

chandler

2. You don’t have someone to steal oversize flannel shirts from.

flannel.gif

3. Another year of not being part of a couples Halloween costume.

jim

4. The holidays are coming up, so you know your extended family is going to be questioning your perennial singleness.

die-alone

5. It suddenly seems like everybody is in a relationship except you, so you spend your nights drinking white wine alone in your apartment.

amy-schumer

6. Love Actually is back on Netflix, and you don’t have anyone to watch it with. (Actually, I can’t even get my mom to watch this with me so idk how valid this complaint is.)

love-actually

Standard
boyfriend, Uncategorized

anatomy of a finance douche

NYC is home to a specific breed of a (not so) gentleman I like to call the “finance douche.” Thanks to Wall Street and all of the major banks that call New York home, there are an incredible amount of guys who work “in finance” doing something that makes a ridiculous amount of money without needing to be especially smart. Here’s what makes them tick.

1. They (obviously) studied Finance in college.Or maybe Econ if they couldn’t get into the business program.¬†Probably a private university in the Northeast, maybe Georgetown or UVA.

andy cornell

2. Interned at Goldman Sachs or JP Morgan. AKA fucked around for a summer on someone else’s dime.

moneu.gif

3. Lives in Murray Hill, FiDI or the Upper East Side with at least two of his college buddies. The rest live in a 4-block radius. They still play beer pong on Sunday afternoons.

gossip girl

4. Their favorite topic of conversations are a) drunk frat shenanigans; b) Microsoft Excel; c) their alcoholic boss.

excel

5. Totes an Amex that has an annual fee higher than your rent.

tom money

6. Studied abroad in Dublin¬†or London and doesn’t remember any of it.

workaholics

7. Wears Chubbies in a non-ironic way.

frat guys

8. Smokes occasional cigarettes in an ironic way.

don draper smoking

Check our more NYC stereotypes here. 

Standard
the latest, Uncategorized

when you are totally 10000% done with college

Lately, I’ve just been super over Fordham. I know I’ve written a number of nostalgic posts about finishing my final semester here, but as graduation gets closer, I’m finally feeling ready to just be done with everything.

giphy-2.gif

Thanks to my work schedule, I wake up at 8am everyday, so I insist on being in bed by midnight (if you had told my freshman self this is where I’d be at 22, I don’t think she would’ve believed you).

giphy-1.gif

As a result, my social life has definitely been dwindling, and I really haven’t cared too much. It’s kind of refreshing to have a schedule and responsibilities.

giphy-3.gif

While I’m not super thrilled to be working for the rest of my life, I’m definitely ready for the exciting things to come in the next few years.

giphy.gif

Standard
the latest, Uncategorized

stages of going out when you’re a senior in college

College. A time to wreak havoc on your liver, eat way too much pizza, and make lifelong friends and memories. I remember¬†being a freshman and being WAY too excited to go to a real college party. I never partied in high school, and couldn’t wait to start having fun. While I’ve had the benefit of both the close-knit party scene near campus and the top notch nightlife of NYC at my fingertips, it still gets old.¬†A girl can only drink so much Coors Light.

Stage 1. Coming to terms with how tired you are.

For me, 25 hour work weeks (combined internship and work study) + taking 18 credits as a full time student is exhausting. I barely have time to go to the gym, let alone pound the vodka crans.

Attachment-1.gif

Stage 2. Deciding whether or not you should rally.

You gotta put some feelers out and see if spending half an hour on your make up will even be worth it.

1.png

Stage 3. Taking a hard look at yourself in the mirror.

“Spice up your f***** life,” you say while you evaluate your strong points.

IMG_0427

Stage 4. Making your first drink.

I usually start with a glass of wine. Or three.

IMG_0468.GIF

Stage 5. Putting your game face on.

Apply make up, straighten hair, put on push-up bra, take selfie.

IMG_0463

Stage 6. Waiting in line to get into the bar/drinks

Oh, yeah. This is why I don’t go out anymore.

IMG_0435
Stage 7. Realizing your flirting techniques haven’t improved AT ALL in the last four years.

See you in Chem lab tomorrow! *Face palm*

rach

Stage 8. Thinking your 21 year old self can handle liquor than your 18 year old self.

Nope.

Stage 9. PIZZA.

Drunk eating > drunk anything else.

IMG_0471

Stage 10. Going home.

Because there is no better feeling than taking your heels off and crashing. Happy hangover!

leslie

Standard